Purpose of the project

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Purpose of the project

12-15-2010, 12:53 AM,

#13

fudje

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Posts: 87
Threads: 6
Joined: Dec 2007

Maybe it's better to try and avoid bloating it. It's already three sentences long, which is about as far as we can expect to hold most people's attention. It might make sense to have multiplayer in there somewhere around gameplay, but on the other hand if you put that in a product statement right now you're going to get back a whole lot of "WTF where's the multiplayer?" Likewise, "cross platform" could be put in the list of adjectives at the beginning. It's probably more interesting to a potential audience than "open source." Anything about coding philosophy or data integrity is just fluff for contributors though, and doesn't belong here.

Stepping back a little, I'm still not convinced by the last sentence. The statement should be about VDrift, not its community. Do you ship a cooperative community of artists and developers off to everyone who downloads a copy of VDrift? I'm not sure what you have against "{subject} {verb} {object} to {metasubject}", although I'll admit "{infinitive} {object}, {subject} {verb} {object} to {metasubject}" is long-winded. Then, so is "{infinitive} {object}, {metasubject} {verb} {subject that has been made an object} as {object}." That infinitive needs to take a running jump somewhere -- this is a mission statement, not the opening of a high school science report. Maybe something more succinct, like "VDrift provides an experimentation platform to a cooperative community of artists and developers." Actually, the cooperative community sounds like fluffing, too. Anything I come up with to replace it sounds just as strained as the sentence you have there now Sad